guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
