So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
