i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
