A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
PANTIES FOUND
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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