is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
