I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
