looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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