he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
dude. I can hear the air.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
