What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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