I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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