fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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