If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
