I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
