I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
