There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I could fuck to npr.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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