you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
