HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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