Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
