i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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