Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
