Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
