thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
