So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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