all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize