So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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