There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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