Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Sorry about my life...
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
