I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
