): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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