I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
