Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
