i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
