I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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