All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
