NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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