i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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