He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Terrible idea I love it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
