Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
