What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
