WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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