i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
