is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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