I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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