We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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