Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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