He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
