Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
how does that bad decision feel?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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