I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
