remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
