I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
