Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
