yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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