just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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