? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
