so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
