I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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