vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
