I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
