R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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