The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
