I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
