Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
