so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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