I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
