why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
