You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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