Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
