we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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