That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
