if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize