we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
