I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize